End of the Eclipse
by Lunar Fang Feredir
Summary: When Ichigo relinquished his powers in order to defeat Aizen, he knew that he would not be a shinigami any longer, but he doesn't quite realize the direness of his choices. Now he learns that being a hero doesn't always equal being happy. Or does it?
1. The Moonless Night

Hello there, beloved fanfiction writers and browsers alike! This here is supposed to be the preview of my second Ichiruki fanfiction. I am aware that it's not really a small preview, but I felt this was the right way to go about executing the idea. In terms of chronological alignment, it's a prologue, and the chapter after this one will most likely involve a pretty firm time skip.

As always, R&R, criticism and ideas are always welcome, and I hope to get as much of it as I can, as you help me out a fair deal with it.

**If you are firmly against Ichiruki, I advise you to not read this, if you're not opposed to it, enjoy!**

_Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo, and not to me in any way._

**EDIT: Added some horizontal lines to split up the stories depending on where the scenes switch, in my foggy haze, I must have forgotten to do that. This chapter should be less confusing now. I'll also try to make sure that there's a list of definitions for the average Bleach fan that may not know every word**

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><p>It had been just another excruciatingly boring day at school. It had now been two months since he had lost his shinigami powers and was still actively lamenting over the loss, the loss of everything. With a quick smile and a nod he had been able to hide it from his friends and fellow schoolmates, but at an accelerated rate, his whole world was coming undone around him.<p>

He was seated on his normally comfortable office chair, that now felt as if it was tipped with various little metal prongs.

His hand mechanically lifted from its place before it slammed to his desk with a loud thump. Only two months, this was what two months of no shinigami powers had done to him. A mere two months, damn it!

The situation was the same with Yuzu and Karin, and even oyaji, and since last week, he had even stopped actively trying to show them that it was all right.

What was he going to do? It had been a mere two months! Two months and had almost lost himself already!

"Damn it! Damn it! **DAMN IT!"** he yelled multiple times, banging his hand to the table with every yell before placing both his hands to his head, weaving the tips of his fingers into the delicate, fiery hair without any restraint whatsoever.

He sniffled and wheezed. Was this what was going to remain of him? Was this really the extent of his strength? He was going to break down and no one would notice it, hopefully.

His hands tensed and the nails of his fingers lodged into his scalp tightly, so hard that few of them even drew blood, which made for a weird mix, along with the tears that swam down his cheeks.

A memory sprung to his mind, a memory that stung so incomprehensibly much that he almost smashed his own head to the surface of the desk without any care.

_If you use this technique, _

_You'll lose all your Shinigami powers._

_Farewell.. Ichigo.._

Once more, he saw the image of his zanpakuto falling into the watery depths of his soul before disappearing.. forever.

"Fuck it! What kind of horrible shinigami am I? Instead of trying to understand my zanpakuto, I continuously forced techniques out of him for the sheer sake of emergency. I had no respect for him whatsoever.."

"-He was a tool.. I'm no better than Kenpachi or anyone that takes their zanpakuto for granted..", he whispered lowly to himself in a hoarse voice, with a tears streaming down his voice, moistening his desk.

"I.."

".. My task was to protect, but in obsessing around it, I failed to protect the one that knew the most about me.."

"Damn it!", he yelled as he slammed his fist to the desk once more, countless wrinkles spreading underneath his eyes as he fought to contain himself, for he knew that nothing would change, even if he didn't contain himself.

"And Rukia.. I'll never see her again.."

The memory of her farewell spread through his mind for the fourth time this week.

_"This is goodbye.. Ichigo", Rukia looked at him, with a tender, rather solemn smile, her eyes locking deeply on to his dark brown eyes._

_Ichigo threw her a wry, lopsided smile, "Seems that way.."_

_The raven-haired shinigami knew exactly what he meant, and he realized that, and for a few moments, they both just stood there, trying to contain themselves, until her reiatsu truly faded away along with her figure and he looked upwards to the sky, that seemed dark and gloomy to him despite the sunny weather._

_"Sayonara.. Rukia.. arigato.."_

His head started banging even more, and the tears increased , "Why do I always take everything for granted and only cherish something when it is too late?", he screamed, uncaring for the fact that anyone may have heard him, and also totally oblivious to someone that had been eavesdropping.

Outside Ichigo's window, a quincy archer had been hiding and eavesdropping on the former substitute shinigami, whispering to himself after Ichigo's outburst, his eyes narrowing solemnly, ".. Kurosaki.."

Unable to continue listening to the wails of a person he once detested, he jumped down and quickly used hirenkyaku to get away from his friend's house, and once he was more than a few miles away, he calmed down and slowed down to a normal walk, skipping slowly along various rooftops.

"I knew he was feeling bad.. but this bad?", Ishida whispered to himself, as he placed a finger to his lips, which were curled down into a sad frown.

"Of course, I should've known.. protecting everyone and everything is all that he had, and on top of that, the Soul Society didn't even tell him goodbye or "thank you"..", the archer gritted his teeth, the lax and nonchalant attitude of the Soul Society fueling his dislike for the Gotei 31 even more.

He had saved their asses and now, now he was condemned to be thrown to a corner like a doll. Even Rukia hadn't returned to greet him, and Ishida knew just how much that meant to the former shinigami. Ishida understood though, the Soul Society had probably explicitly prohibited contact with Kurosaki Ichigo, and especially Rukia.

Shifting to a quicker pace, he leapt over various rooftops, suddenly turning on the tips of his toes and twist around, speeding in the direction of Orihime's house, whispering to himself.

"But even if I tell her, will it do more harm than it will help? Will we even be able to help him at all?.."

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><p>The tears had now dried on his face as he looked around his room, with a scowl, trying to build his defense back up. He walked over to the bed to lie down on it, but noticed something sticking out from under the matress and lifted the matress off to find one of Rukia's chappy drawings, and immediately, his eyes started watering again.<p>

Reaching over to the nearly crumpled drawing, he saw that the drawing was in fact him and Rukia as chappies, in their shinigami robes, he then flipped the paper around and saw she had drawn a heart, one of those valentines hearts, staring at the fiery orange hair on top of the heart, and his hollow mask on the left side of the heart's.. "face"?

He then also noticed that two tiny chappy hands were holding it and saw that a Rukia, also drawn like Chappy, held it tightly.

Normally he'd have laughed at Rukia at seeing the drawing, at which she'd have kicked his face in, and he'd have apologized and said it was all a joke, but now.. now he just slammed the paper to his chest tightly, keeping a firm hol on the drawing as the tears almost literally sprang out of their respective tear ducts.

"Damn it! Rukiaaa!", he screamed as he slowly curled up into a ball, no longer caring about how weak or wussy he must've looked.

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><p>"Ishida-kun?", Orihime asked, pursing her lips with curiosity, welcoming the Quincy into her apartment.<p>

"Inoue-san.. I need to talk to you.."

Unknowing of the knowledge Ishida would share with her, she just closed her eyes and chirped loudly and happily, "Sure, Ishida-kun, come in!"

Giving the bubbly girl a soft, yet sad smile, he entered the apartment, looking around only slightly, as he didn't want to be both intrusive and rudely curious at the same time.

"Please, sit!", she said with a smile, tapping the couch she stood next to, arching over slightly, and Ishida tried to give a reassuring smile as he placed his finger on the bridge of his nose and pushed his glasses up while walking to the couch and calmly taking a seat on it.

"Would you like anything to drink or anything to eat? You know, I am allwed to take a lot of bread home by my employer, because he says that despite the fact that we sell very well, there is always a huge chunk of food that remains and he thinks it's a waste to throw it out."

Uryuu's lips curled in a downwards curve, "No thank you.. Inoue-san.."

She felt that something was haunting him, from the tone of his voice. She wasn't entirely oblivious.

"Alright.. just tell me when you do", she carefully smiled and sat on the couch across from him, "So.. what is it?", she softly whispered, her expression now displaying worry.

Uryuu bit his lip and started to lean down on his own knees and weaved his fingers together, the left thumb picking at his chin nervously, ".. It's about Kurosaki.."

"Oh no! Did Kurosaki-kun get wounded in an accident?"

Once more, Uryuu tried to reassure her by making some gestures with his fingers, "No, no. It's nothing like that.. it's just.."

The light reflected off of Uryuu's clean glasses, temporarily making it unable for Orihime to see his expression, aside his deep frown,

"I so happened to hear him.. and then decided to wait at his window.. he was.."

Orihime's eyes widened and she looked disapprovingly at the Quincy Archer, "You eavesdropped?"

Ishida was slightly surprised at that, but answered nevertheless, ".. mh.. you can say that.. Inoue-san.. he was crying and talking about his shinigami powers to himself. Kurosaki was -crying-."

"Oh..", Orihime slowly replied, unsure of how to actually respond, with her voice sinking.

Uryuu glanced into Inoue's eyes, now doubting whether or not it was a good choice to give the normally bubbly persona another weighty burden to carry.

"I'm sorry Inoue-san, I didn't mean to give you more things to think about.."

Orihime put up another smile, soft but wholehearted, "No need to be sorry, I'm glad you told me.. it's just.. I don't know how we can help.."

Uryuu was about to respond when Orihime smacked the underside of her fist to the palm of her other hand and chirped out, "I know! We can take him out to do things and make sure he doesn't have to opportunity to think about such bad thoughts!", she smiled widely, looking expectantly at Ishida.

"It's a good idea, and it's simple.. but.."

The girl pursed her lips once more as Ishida continued, "It's not a long-term solution. We can't keep him busy forever, and I'm not sure if he'll ever heal.. it's been two months and he seems to be pretty far under already.."

He looked up to the ceiling for a moment, raising a few fingers to cup his chin, "- On the flip side, we can't allow to let him sink even further, or the damage really will be irreparable.."

Orihime gasped, "We can't let that happen, Ishida-kun!"

Uryuu scratched at his chin, "Indeed.. but it's still true that we can't keep him occupied forever.."

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><p>Ichigo heard a few knocks at his door, and his father softly whispering, hoping his son would hear him, "My son.. are you all right?"<p>

The ex-shinigami - startled as he was - shook in surprise, trying to will back the shakiness and uncertainty in his voice, "N.."

"Ichigo, did you say something there?", he heard his father almost yell at him through the door.

"Damn it, no, oyaji!", he added with a growl, "I'm just fine!"

His father then tapped his fingers rhythmically against the door, adding a gentle reply, atleast.. gentle because it was his father, who was about as gentle as a rest on a bed made of pincushions, "Son.. you know I'm always available to talk to, when you need it?"

Ichigo's eyes narrowed sadly, something his father of course, could not see, ".. Yeah.."

The young Kurosaki could, however, almost smell the wide smirk on his father's face behind the door now, "- Of course, not when I'm spending time with Yuzu and Karin!"

"Jeez thanks, you lame, worthless father!", Ichigo yelled back at the door, looking over his shoulder, oblivious to the fact that this was actually part of Isshin Kurosaki's plan.

"Ouuuh, Ichigo.. that reminds me, I wonder why you're not celebrating mating season? Hunting the women! Make me some grandchildren, so I can be proud of you!", he near-commanded, giving Ichigo the feeling that he was in and ex-haling so fast through his nose that smoke was flaring from his nostrils.

"Even behind a door, you manage to piss me off, oyaji. Besides, this is not a subject you are supposed to discuss with your own son, you old pervert!", Ichigo stood up and ran to his door and yanked it open angrily, and slammed his right hand forth, which collided with his father's face, throwing the elder Kurosaki back into a wall, "And I told you - it's called puberty, -NOT- mating season!"

"Jeez.. how can I even be related to you?", Ichigo growled, huffing angrily at his father , who was embedded in the wall.

"Your punches are hard as ever.. I'm proud.. my son", Kurosaki Isshin said with a muffled voice, and Ichigo just growled back at him and started his descent down via the stairs, pocketing the crumbled drawing, yelling so loud that his father could heard him as well, even though the yell wasn't directed at him, "Yuzu, Karin! I'm going to take a walk outside, don't worry about me and go to bed."

Not putting in any effort to share any other information, or simply not wishing to, he reached for the knob of the frontdoor and opened the door with his left hand, while reaching for his jacket with the other and slamming the door closed behind himself.

Hearing the loud sound of the front door close with a harsh bang, the father of the ex substitute shinigami crawled downstairs almost like an arachnid, looking up at his daughters with puppy eyes, "Ichigoo..?"

Both daughters folded their arms across their respective chests and looked at their father as if they were about to scold him.

"What did you do to make Ichigo want to leave the house?", they simultanuously, sternly inquired with the hint of accusation fresh in their voices.

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><p><strong>I <strong>**hope I have not made any characters in this chapter too out-of-character. I believe some people may be opposed to the way Ichigo is currently acting, but I think he has the ability to be rather emotionally fragile as much as the next person, and I wanted to portray that.**

**For those that are waiting for me to continue my other stories. Don't worry, they're coming, i've not forgotten about you!**

**EDIT: Added list of definitions down below.**

**Definitions(Chapter 1):**

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><p><strong>- Hirenkyaku = <strong>_Quincy equivalent of the Shunpo (Flash step), a technique that allows the user to travel at high speed and basically teleport or near-teleport, depending on how proficient the user is._

**- Zanpakuto (Literally S_oul-Cutter Sword_) = **_Extension of the soul of a shinigami(Soul Reaper, Death God, etc.), and it is basically the symbol of a shinigami's strength and soul. Every shinigami has his own zanpakuto, which has its own spirit. Though, apparently in rare cases, it might be that more than one person is capable of wielding a single zanpakuto spirit, but that isn't a common occurance. Furthermore, it is the bond shinigami have with their zanpakuto that either dulls their blade or sharpens it, as a matter of saying._


	2. These Broken Wings

**Hey hey guys, I hope you're still with me. If so, I am glad that you can bear with me! Nothing much needs to be said, please R&R, and more importantly, if there's any critique you have for me, shoot me right in the head with it!**

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><p><em>Italic = thoughtsflashback_

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><p>Carefully, Ichigo put on his jacket as he calmly walked over the sidewalk, looking up at the various rooftops that graced the houses with their comfortable isolation and defense from potentially nasty weather, remembering how those used to be his terrain and how he leapt over them time and time again. Floating.. weightless.<p>

He was a bird at that time, and felt as liberated as one. Now.. well now he felt caged, like a domestic animal.

Aizen had once screamed at him in disbelief, raising his tone to inquire why he had been able to ascend to the caliber of a deity.

Ichigo's head dropped at the memory, eyeing the pavement with glazed eyes that betrayed that it wasn't of his interest at all.

If he was a god, then why did he need to resort to sacrificing all that made him a god, to keep the world safe from harm?

Even if he were temporarily on the same level as a god, what did it matter? He was a normal human now, and only very few of his friends knew about what actually happened.

Slightly relieved, he was, knowing that he'd not be swarmed by countless females or have every picture of him that was taken published in various articles in magazines. He was a silent hero, and somehow, while he should have been happy, he was feeling completely miserable.

Ichigo kicked a tiny clump of stone, which skipped over the surface of the sidewalk as he absentmindedly whispered to himself, "I wonder what Rukia is thinking about right now..", yielding a heavy sigh, ".. I guess she's happy right now, in the Soul Society..".

He tried to put up a faint, shaky smile up to no one in particular, since the darkened streets were deserted, which was not all too surprising as it was nighttime.

"Will she remember me?", he asked himself, taking in a deep breath and walking towards a certain location, his gaze shifting from the pavement, to the houses and eventually to the night sky, noticing that the moon wasn't hanging peacefully in the sky, but instead, its presence had been blocked away, unlike the stars, which were glowing as brightly as they always were.

Ichigo's slow, calm walk accelerated in to a full fledged sprint and his feet hit the ground with a quick pace as he ran aimlessly, subconscious trying to reach a certain destination.

Then, random as it were, clouds whisked away the soothing light of the stars one by one and the illumination from the night sky grew more and more dim by the second, leaving only the lightpoles to function as the only remaining light source, besides the occasional light that was still on within a few houses and apartments.

Then the surprised Kurosaki suddenly felt a moistness on his nose. They were raindrops and the rain was starting to pick up, judging from how more and more droplets hit his soft skin and his fiery hair, which was slowly growing damp.

It was as if even the warm color of his wild, spiky hair died out by the tears that rained from the clouds, pasting the matted hair to his forehead, sticking to the wet skin.

And still, his pace changed and he ran even faster, trying to escape the thoughts that chased him in his mind.

_Filthy human.._

_How dare a filthy human seize Nii-sama's leg.._

_Know your place, kid!_

_Let us depart, Nii-sama. The actions of this disgusting human have opened the eyes of I, Kuchiki Rukia._

_Please take me to Soul Society with you.._

_I shall humbly atone for all my crimes.._

Ichigo's mouth was hanging limply as he ran, wails escaping from them, as salty droplets dribbled down his cheeks, indiscernible among the drops of rain that hit his skin around the tears.

_I doubt it's necessary that you deal him the final blow.._

_He'll lay there, and eventually draw his last breath, if we merely leave him.._

_Let us depart, please, Nii-sama.._

Throughout his wails, his sprint was causing issues now, making him reluctantly force out labored huffs and coughs in attempt to breathe, still.

_Don't move.. don't pursue me.. if you do.. I'll -NEVER- forgive you.._

The young Kurosaki suddenly slipped over a piece of the pavement that stuck out due to being worn out after all the years of carrying pedestrians.

The tears and rain both obstructed his view enough that he accidentally tripped and hit the ground with a surprised groan, Ichigo however managed to save his fall using his forearms, which were now bruised, carrying few open wounds.

The teenage human shifted to hold himself up on his hands and knees, forcing his eyes shut.

He held himself in that position like a limp sack even as the rain that seemed to be falling down from the sky endlessly intruded and crawled into his clothes.

"..W..why?", he screamed out to nobody in particular, the hints of desperation and pain present in his shaky voice.

Once more, the boy forced his eyes shut, as if everything would simply disappear if he did. He tried to crawl back up to his feet and set up a proper pace again with his eyes narrowed, the tears in his eyes blocking most of his sight.

"Why did it all go the way it did? IS THERE NOTHING I CAN DO?", the distressed teenager called out in to the sky, "ANYBODY?".

Yet throughout his hopeless screams that echoed through the darkened streets and eventually the woods, he still ran, and ran, and ran..

_More importantly, Ichigo, how does one drink this?_

_Easy, you just poke the straw in._

_Oh?_

Despite the fact that his hopeless, aimless sprint seemed to lead to nowhere in particular, he finally arrived at a river bank, and it was the one at which he had shared many memories, negative and positive alike.

_Why are you staring blankly out into space_

_.. It's nothing._

_Really? You've been acting strange lately._

_No I haven't.._

Ichigo stared down at the energetically flowing river while his mind recalled the memories, mostly against his will.

_Then why won't you look me in the face? - You've been like that for a while now._

He let out a soft, shaky sigh and nearly collapsed on the soft, moist grass, just barely able to even willingly hold himself up.

_There's something you want to tell me, isn't there?_

Slowly, Ichigo crawled over the grass and slid down the stones paving the surrounding area landing on more moist grassy soil, looking at the river on which he was now closing in. The water didn't seem to stop moving at all.

_..Yeah!-_

_It's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to._

The teenager dizzily navigated his way over the moist grass, which was supplied with more moistness from the seemingly unending rain.

_What's with you? First you tell me to say it, then you tell me not to!_

_.. Sorry, I just wanted to be sure._

He finally wound up at the side of the river and held his head above the surface of the water, which was disturbed by the constant impact of the rain drops, forming small waves in the image that his body carved into the river.

"It's so.. unnatural.. the way this river flows and flows..", he managed to whisper with his shaky, fragile voice, ".. - the way everything continues as it always did, without her, while I'm stuck in time and unmoving.."

"I wonder.. will I ever be able to keep up with the speed of the world without you in it..", he questioned himself softly, his fingers digging into the soil underneath him.

"I don't think I can.."

_After all.._

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><p>"Come on iiiiiiin~, Mr. Kurosaki!", a cheery voice exclaimed. It was Urahara Kisuke, smiling behind his fan, -however-, his smile dropped when he saw the face of the elder Kurosaki, Isshin.<p>

"What is this fine young man doing in my humble shop?", Urahara asked, attempting to liven up the mood.

The dark-haired man merely walked in, folding his umbrella and laying it on a nearby table.

"Urahara.. it's about Ichigo."

The former squad captain's smile formed into a real frown, "I see.."

"- Sorry, Isshin, I really have no way to help your son, I'd love to, I really would love to help him."

The elder Kurosaki's eyes dropped, "I know.. I know, damn it.."

"- It's just that I have no idea what to do. Normally, our squabbles get him back on track, but ever since she left, nothing could get him to smile a real smile, and his fake smiles are more than creepy."

Urahara peeked over the edges of his fan, blinking a few times, " 'She'? Kuchiki-san, you mean. Right?"

Isshin sat down at the table and crossed his arms, looking up at the shop owner, "Of course I mean Rukia."

The mysterious dark-haired shinigami wiped some imaginary dirt off of his pants and continued, "Ever since she left, he started talking to himself about how he failed and crying at any moment he can, lest he is in his room alone, that is. He thinks we don't know, hear or see, but we know better. I don't want him to go through similiar things as I did, just because he wanted to save people."

Urahara walked over to the table and sat down across from him, planting his chin on both of his hands while placing his elbows on the table, looking over at his long-time friend, gazing into his eyes, "You have that look again. It very much reminds me of your son. Yet, be that as it may, you, nor I can not change what happens to your son now. That is the hardest part about parenting, having to see your little 'cubs' suffer the consequences of actions that are sometimes less than happily made by them. It really is the most unbearable part about being a parent, the necessity to stand by and watch them sink down. But listen, Isshin.."

The elder Kurosaki's eyes widened as he looked at the seriousness of the shopkeeper, which contradicted his usual behavior.

**"Your son is strong."**

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><p><strong>Hey hey, I hope you liked this chapter, and I'll release a new one a.s.a.p.<strong>

**I chose for Ichigo to end up where he did for a reason, because - as you might already know - he has so many memories from there.**

**Once more, sorry for making him vulnerable, if it seems too OOC for you!**


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